stumbling

so there is an add-on thing for your internet browser called stumble-upon.

i really liked it at first. you click on a button that says "stumble" and it takes you to a random website that pertains to your interests, which you program into it when you sign up. it was a great way to find new sites.

however, it ended up not being so great. among my interests were religion, tattoos, video games, philosophy, sports, etc...
this inevitably lead to websites that had scantily clad women on it. there were scantily clad women with tattoos, scantily clad women playing video games, scantily clad women doing all kinds of stuff that pertained to my interests. usually i'd move on, but i would sometimes find myself looking at this stuff because...well...i'm a guy. it never took me to a porn site, but that doesn't mean it isn't lust.

now, as a christian, someone who genuinely wants to live as Christ-like as possible, this isn't a good thing. it took me forever to realize that, sometimes, when i click on that "stumble" button, i might end up stumbling- spiritually. ironic, i know. it's almost a joke. needless to say, i uninstalled it.

now there are two things i'd like to say about this.
1. i should have seen this coming. 99% of the internet is temptation. sin is something christians should flee from. you don't push the boundary of what you are "allowed" to do, you strive for purity and all that stuff.

Jesus said that lust is commiting adultery in your heart. there is no middle ground.

2. i hesitated to write about this because lust is such a horrible topic. society would say there is nothing wrong with me looking at women, and it's probably not even worth talking about. however, i think it is degrading to women, and more importantly, disrespectful to every woman i've ever known. i think this way because the Holy Spirit puts this kind of annoying sense of morality in you.

but it's scary to admit to giving in to lust. i'm always afraid that people (women) will think i'm creepy or gross. perhaps because lust is creepy and gross. i don't blame them, either. but sin is such a vicious cycle. it's almost a sick, twisted joke the enemy plays. you sin (1), then you feel guilty (2), then you are afraid to admit to it (3), and then you may get judged (4). that's why we should flee from it. but it happens. and the 4th thing isn't really your fault, i guess.

nevertheless, we are sinners, but there is nothing greater than God. as christians, our forgiveness should always be greater than sin.
i think that one of the greatest ways to overcome sin is to admit to it. and make fun of it if you can.


by the way, if you stumbled upon this page, be sure to give me a thumbs up!

passive/aggressive evangelism

i overheard some people at work talking about religion. these are some of the things they said:
"the bible is a collection of stories that we don't know for certain whether or not they are true, and have probably lost their relevance over time anyways."

"religion is a good way to keep people in check."

"Leviticus says we should stone gays and adulterers, there is no way the bible can be a source of morality."

"that guy with curly hair and glasses is dumb and needs to shave."

ok...i made that last one up. but one of the girls there did tell me to shave.
before i get to what i really want to talk about, a few things:
1. there is a multitude of evidence supporting the credibility of the bible. from the dead sea scrolls to several roman documents refering to christians (before romans invented catholicism and christians were still persecuted), and many others. you can look them up, as i am a lazy blogger.

2. true Christ-followers will never be "checked" by this world. Jesus was a radical and we should be too.

3. most opponents of the bible are ignorant of the content within it. God did tell His people to stone certain people to death. however, that was God's specifically chosen people, and He was trying to create a holy group of people who did not live by the standard of the rest of the world. more importantly, that way of living is no longer necessary, and hasn't been for about 2000 years. anyone who has read the new testament knows that Jesus established a new covenant. God has chosen all of us, but we have the freedom to accept or not.

Jesus gave us a new way to live: "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." and "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." there is much more to say, but lets move on.

God does not hate anybody. He doesn't hate gay people, He doesn't hate terrorists, He doesn't hate obama, He doesn't hate the washington redskins, He doesn't hate you. He can't. He would be hating something He created in His own image. He cannot contradict himself, and hating His image would be contradictory.


anyways, what i want to talk about is this: i didn't know if it was appropriate to tell them all that stuff right then and there. i decided against it because i'm trying to be a better witness with my actions rather than my words.
i want their respect and then let them know that i always do my best and i treat people kindly because i am filled with the Holy Spirit and so on. but should i have got on a soap box? i really don't know.

i eventually talked briefly to one of them later on, and said that i am always open for conversation on the matter. but i still wonder if i should have spoken up immediately. i didn't feel like the timing was right, but i had a strong urge to speak up for the Lord. not that He needs my help or anything...

you can tell me what you think... all two of you that read this blog.

misery

God has given me a compassion for people and their pain. and i don't like it.

i say that because i was not this way before. i used to be somewhat self-centered. and by "somewhat" i mean "completely." it's a side effect from having a calloused heart. now, i do things to keep myself in check, such as not capitalizing "i" when i am talking about myself. it's a little reminder to myself that i am not a big deal.

for the past few years i have been noticing a desire within me to ease people's emotional distress. or at least share in their misery. those who know me best know that i am awesome at being miserable. when i was in kindergarten, i could be miserable at a 3rd grade level.

people break my heart, is what i am really trying to get at. and that is Christ's fault.

but i think that is because that's what God wants, whether i like it or not. when i jumped on this whole "accept the Savior (Saviour?)" boat, a slow transformation began inside me. and now i am a pin cushion. people hurt me all the time now- sometimes on purpose, sometimes without realizing it. even if i have nothing to do with them, or any particular situation. when i see Christ-followers struggling, i feel it. when i see a "lost" person suffering, i feel it. especially if i've had a few beers. man, i get sentimental when i drink...but i digress.

for me, i have to hurt before i can truly forgive. other times i feel like God gave me this capacity to feel other's pain just so that i would care. He invested so much in me, and now i find myself investing in others. i used to enjoy being alone. now i get lonely.

i tell you this because God tore down my walls. and i open up my deepest feelings on blogs that anyone can read and then make fun of me later. i hope your walls are being torn down, as well. i want you to be miserable just like me, if you know what i mean.

responses

i came home tonight to find a note on the fridge from my mother. by the way, i live with my parents. when people ask how that is, i respond "it's about what you would expect."

anyways, the note read: "HOUSE RULE: When You Take a Drink Put One Back. Thanks, Mgmt." cute.

now, putting all other grammatical issues aside, i've never seen a sentence with so many proper nouns. because i am the person that i am, i responded with a note that reads "HOUSE RULE: Communicate with passive-aggressive notes ONLY." (it was either that or "HOUSE RULE: All Words Will Begin With Upper-Case Letters.")

i suspect that my note will not be there when i wake up tomorrow. my mom will either think it is funny, or she will think that i am a smart-ass-good-for-nothing.

what i have learned from this experience:
if you ever want me to have a strong internal conflict- perhaps to get me to leave you alone or for your own amusement, ask me if my most recent action glorifies the Lord (which is what i asked myself). i might respond "you and your stupid accountability!" ...and then you could ask again.
Jesus was not sarcastic. but sometimes i wonder if He ever wanted to be. probably not.

uh oh!

we'll see how this one goes.

in the mean time: listen to elvis perkins, watch craig ferguson, and don't buy cheap beer.