tomorrow will begin a one year countdown to the end of unjust insurance rates.
that is a horrible way of saying that my 24th birthday is tomorrow.
buy me that guitar i talked about last time.
here's the deal:
i'm gonna buy a guitar. not an expensive one. i guess i'll compromise until i become rich. after the axe, i am going to buy a car. not an expensive one.
why do you care? what does this have to do with you? not much.
but you can pray for me. pray that i don't lose my job and become unable to pay for things (AGAIN).
or if i do lose my job for some unforeseeable reason, pray that it is God's will, and that my needs will be met.
anyways, i read this a while ago:
"...Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." that is Ephesians 5:4
unfortunately for me, i think 4 letter words can be hilarious when used, for lack of a better term, properly. now, i don't go around cussing at people. it's mostly when i lose at something. or stub my toe. or realize much too late that there is no toilet paper in the vicinity of where i am. i think it's just a way to release some frustration. and then when i look back on it, i can laugh about it.
random tangent:
when it comes to laughter, i'm inclined to agree with kurt vonnegut, who says laughter is a soul's way of coping with things. in some of his writings, he made jokes about being a prisoner of war. he also talked about jokes his friends made while they were taking cover in a building during the dresden bombings in WWII.
i've never dealt with anything that serious. but when i get in serious arguments, or if something terrible happens, i sometimes laugh a little. i think it's because i'm unable to do anything else. my girlfriend does not like this.
i also laughed when i broke my arm in 7th grade. i would have laughed when i broke my nose, but i was trying to keep all the blood off of my favorite shirt. which i laugh about now. the shirt was already red anyway.
back to the subject:
obscenity and coarse joking are out of place because they don't honor God. so when i lose at something, or stub my toe, or anything else, i need you to help me honor God. even if it makes me angry at you a little. i get angry when people hold me accountable. probably because i know they are right and i was being foolish.
if you bring me toilet paper, i will not be angry at you.
11/26/09
11/23/09
what would wayne and garth do?
i want this. really badly. it doesn't have to be this color.
it's quite expensive, however. probably in the area of $1300.
ever since i began playing guitar, i've dreamed of owning a les paul. you can probably find better guitars for the money, and you can probably find better guitars for less money, but think of the les paul as the lexus of guitars. it's worth having and it's a luxury to have one, even though there are other options. plus they are awesome instruments to play. besides, it depends on what you want in a guitar. and they are awesome.
but it's so difficult for me to justify buying one of these. i'm worried this will keep me from ever having one.
i need a new car, i want to go back to school, and there are millions of people in need that i could easily give to. i also may or may not owe a lot of money to certain people, such as the south carolina student loan "service."
sometimes i'm not sure where the "coveting" line is drawn. i certainly wouldn't forsake anything God would want me to do with my money. but i don't know if there is anything wrong with wanting something. besides, i could use it to glorify God in a worship band or something like that. or at least that is what i'm telling myself.
some would say, "if you have to think about it, than it's probably not a good idea." if you are one of these people, then leave me alone. i'd rather listen to people who say "do it!"
i could probably manage to afford one over time- budgeting my money so i can keep my priorities straight. but i'm no accountant. and i'm impatient. and i wanna rock.
11/18/09
beautiful letdown (i stole this title)
i recently let a friend down. i said i'd do something, and then i backed out, because i'm a douche. even though i felt like it was the right thing to do.
it's not a big deal though, so don't freak out. it's not like i was asked to feed his dog and then decided not to while he was out of town.
but i did let that person down and i felt like total crap. i'll reiterate that it was the responsible thing to do...
but something peculiar happened:
he was understanding and forgiving.
i'll be honest, that surprised me. not because my friend isn't the understanding and forgiving type, because obviously he is. it surprised me because he had every right to be upset and to not like me, atleast for a little while. well, i guess i felt like he had a right to be upset. he didn't feel that way. i'm being redundant.
my friends remind me that people can be okay sometimes. i hope your friends do the same. i hope i do the same.
this life is full of little hints and allusions to God. if you believe that God created the world, that should make sense to you.
for example, H2O can exist in three different entities- liquid, gas, and solid. but water, vapors, and ice are all still H2O. God exists in three different entities, but all of them are still God (wrap yo mind around that!).
another example: ask any scientist and they will tell you that there is no such thing as "cold." "coldness" is just the abscence of heat. just like good and evil. evil is merely the abscence of goodness, or holiness, if you will. there is evil in this world because we lack perfect goodness/holiness, like there is in heaven.
and an example that is actually relevant to what i was talking about:
sometimes people forgive one another. even though they have a right not to. just like what God did. God offers us grace that we don't deserve (and cannot ever afford) through his Son, who is another part of the trinity (not the H2O one). when people forgive, they are showing a hint of the divine grace that is offered to all of us.
it's not a big deal though, so don't freak out. it's not like i was asked to feed his dog and then decided not to while he was out of town.
but i did let that person down and i felt like total crap. i'll reiterate that it was the responsible thing to do...
but something peculiar happened:
he was understanding and forgiving.
i'll be honest, that surprised me. not because my friend isn't the understanding and forgiving type, because obviously he is. it surprised me because he had every right to be upset and to not like me, atleast for a little while. well, i guess i felt like he had a right to be upset. he didn't feel that way. i'm being redundant.
my friends remind me that people can be okay sometimes. i hope your friends do the same. i hope i do the same.
this life is full of little hints and allusions to God. if you believe that God created the world, that should make sense to you.
for example, H2O can exist in three different entities- liquid, gas, and solid. but water, vapors, and ice are all still H2O. God exists in three different entities, but all of them are still God (wrap yo mind around that!).
another example: ask any scientist and they will tell you that there is no such thing as "cold." "coldness" is just the abscence of heat. just like good and evil. evil is merely the abscence of goodness, or holiness, if you will. there is evil in this world because we lack perfect goodness/holiness, like there is in heaven.
and an example that is actually relevant to what i was talking about:
sometimes people forgive one another. even though they have a right not to. just like what God did. God offers us grace that we don't deserve (and cannot ever afford) through his Son, who is another part of the trinity (not the H2O one). when people forgive, they are showing a hint of the divine grace that is offered to all of us.
11/12/09
here's what did not happen at work tonight:
it was a normal night... at first.
there were no customers at the time so the rest of the employees and i were hanging out at the counter, you know, shooting the breeze. all of a sudden, we noticed three pitch black SUV's had pulled up into the parking lot. i think they were Cadillacs.
a mob of well-dressed men of asian descent came through the door. i knew we were in trouble. "GET DOWN," i yelled. but it was too late. the cashier was already hit by a throwing star. it was only a flesh wound, but it was a really bad one. she collapsed to the floor as the rest of us ducked down behind the counter as bullets from ak-47s sprayed above us.
the manager and i crawled to the back of the store and grabbed the shotguns we keep by the dishwasher just in case this sort of thing happens. i kicked the swinging door right off the hinges as i stormed out, blasting buck shot all over the place.
our attackers apparently did not expect retaliation. as the first wave of them fell to our shotguns, the rest of the employees had acquired glocks somehow. i think they carry them in their purses all the time. the remaining mobsters of asian descent had taken their position behind some overturned tables, throwing ninja stars and shooting their ak-47s.
i heard their leader shout "KILL THEM!" (have you seen the trailer for the new ninja movie, where a ninja protege rebels against the rest of them, and so the old guy, who apparently leads the ninjas, shouts "KILL HIM!!!"? yeah, it was just like that.)
resistance began to seem futile. there was too many of them. the store was already demolished by endless rounds from ak-47s. then there was a brief silence. the silence was broken by something behind me that i had thought fallen off a shelf. but nothing had fallen off a shelf. it was a grenade that had been thrown and landed directly behind me. my manager quickly picked it up and threw it through a glass window, completely shattering it. the grenade exploded outside.
as the firefight resumed, i made eye contact with my manager. we simultaneously nodded our heads, knowing what we needed to do. it was the only thing left to do. the only thing that could help us win this losing battle against mobsters of asian descent.
i put down my shotgun, and grabbed an acoustic guitar that we always keep under the counter, just in case. "perhaps we should keep the guns instead of the guitar under the counter from now on," i thought to myself. i jumped up on top of the counter, hoping that the power of music would save us all. i began to sing:
"Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along"
the mobsters of asain descent were confused. as they pointed their guns at me, ready to shoot, i had almost made it to the chorus of the song. a chorus so great that no one on earth can resist singing a long. a chorus that can make you forget everything. and it was just in time:
"Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching yooooou....
Sweet Caroline (Bop Ba Daaah)
Good times never seemed so gooood
I've been inclined (Bop Ba Daaah)
To believe it never would"
the mobsters had fallen into our trap! they had gathered into a half-circle swaying left and right, singing the chorus to "sweet caroline" by neil diamond. because they were singing, they hadn't notice that we had all discreetly left the store through the back door. before the spell of "sweet caroline" was over, we had all hidden behind our cars in the back parking lot. the manager pulled out a strange remote that had one red button on it. "i always hoped that i would never have to use this" he said, full of remorse. he pressed the red button, we heard a buzzing sound, and the entire store blew up- along with the mobsters of asian descent inside.
the store was gone, but we had won the fight.
if you don't know the song "sweet caroline" by neil diamond, you'd better learn it. it might save your life. sometimes fans sing it at sporting events when the away team loses, too.
there were no customers at the time so the rest of the employees and i were hanging out at the counter, you know, shooting the breeze. all of a sudden, we noticed three pitch black SUV's had pulled up into the parking lot. i think they were Cadillacs.
a mob of well-dressed men of asian descent came through the door. i knew we were in trouble. "GET DOWN," i yelled. but it was too late. the cashier was already hit by a throwing star. it was only a flesh wound, but it was a really bad one. she collapsed to the floor as the rest of us ducked down behind the counter as bullets from ak-47s sprayed above us.
the manager and i crawled to the back of the store and grabbed the shotguns we keep by the dishwasher just in case this sort of thing happens. i kicked the swinging door right off the hinges as i stormed out, blasting buck shot all over the place.
our attackers apparently did not expect retaliation. as the first wave of them fell to our shotguns, the rest of the employees had acquired glocks somehow. i think they carry them in their purses all the time. the remaining mobsters of asian descent had taken their position behind some overturned tables, throwing ninja stars and shooting their ak-47s.
i heard their leader shout "KILL THEM!" (have you seen the trailer for the new ninja movie, where a ninja protege rebels against the rest of them, and so the old guy, who apparently leads the ninjas, shouts "KILL HIM!!!"? yeah, it was just like that.)
resistance began to seem futile. there was too many of them. the store was already demolished by endless rounds from ak-47s. then there was a brief silence. the silence was broken by something behind me that i had thought fallen off a shelf. but nothing had fallen off a shelf. it was a grenade that had been thrown and landed directly behind me. my manager quickly picked it up and threw it through a glass window, completely shattering it. the grenade exploded outside.
as the firefight resumed, i made eye contact with my manager. we simultaneously nodded our heads, knowing what we needed to do. it was the only thing left to do. the only thing that could help us win this losing battle against mobsters of asian descent.
i put down my shotgun, and grabbed an acoustic guitar that we always keep under the counter, just in case. "perhaps we should keep the guns instead of the guitar under the counter from now on," i thought to myself. i jumped up on top of the counter, hoping that the power of music would save us all. i began to sing:
"Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along"
the mobsters of asain descent were confused. as they pointed their guns at me, ready to shoot, i had almost made it to the chorus of the song. a chorus so great that no one on earth can resist singing a long. a chorus that can make you forget everything. and it was just in time:
"Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching yooooou....
Sweet Caroline (Bop Ba Daaah)
Good times never seemed so gooood
I've been inclined (Bop Ba Daaah)
To believe it never would"
the mobsters had fallen into our trap! they had gathered into a half-circle swaying left and right, singing the chorus to "sweet caroline" by neil diamond. because they were singing, they hadn't notice that we had all discreetly left the store through the back door. before the spell of "sweet caroline" was over, we had all hidden behind our cars in the back parking lot. the manager pulled out a strange remote that had one red button on it. "i always hoped that i would never have to use this" he said, full of remorse. he pressed the red button, we heard a buzzing sound, and the entire store blew up- along with the mobsters of asian descent inside.
the store was gone, but we had won the fight.
if you don't know the song "sweet caroline" by neil diamond, you'd better learn it. it might save your life. sometimes fans sing it at sporting events when the away team loses, too.
11/9/09
flog me
i want you to pray that i will become an even more ridiculous person.
...allow me to explain:
according to the world's standards of acceptable behavior, peter and the apostles were ridiculous people. and that's because they learned from the Master.
towards the end of acts 5, peter and the gang were escaping prison just to go out and do the exact thing that got them imprisoned in the first place, which was teaching that Jesus was and is the Messiah.
if i ever go to prison, and then i escape from said prison, i probably won't be sticking around. but that's what they did. and then this dude named gamaliel, who was a respected pharisee, came up and said "listen, if these guys are doing the work of men, they'll fail. if they're doing the work of God, you probably don't want to be on the wrong side of that battle." now that guy was pretty smart. so then the men of israel said "ok, we'll let them go, but let's rough them up a little first."
i bring this up because i'm always wondering about how much persecution i'm facing for serving the Lord. not much, i would say. and here's the crazy thing:
after peter and the gang were flogged, they went out rejoicing and celebrating that they were punished for doing righteous work. and this wasn't some one time thing either, they did this crap all the time. todos los dias.
thanks for making me look bad, apostles.
i'm constantly asking God to deliver me before developing me. and that's backwards. i keep asking to be sent to south america to do missions, or to be given the opportunity to go to seminary and become a leader of a church or some sorta super-christian that goes around and slaps people's foolish ways with biblical wisdom. (in christian book stores you might find a comic called "bible man." i'm not kidding. it looks terrible.)
but i'm not even living like a missionary in my own home and workplace. i don't even know if the people i have personal relationships view me as a leader. i'm not trying to be hard on myself, because i really do strive to glorify God wherever i am and i think that some people do see something of a God-warrior in me.
but i am not ridiculous enough to be like peter and the gang, and i think that's what i'll be praying for in the mean time. but at the same time, i'm kind of happy to see such cool stuff coming from the people God used to write the new testament.
for lack of a better term, they were Jesus-freaks. and i feel really lame for using the term "Jesus-freak" like i'm some member of d.c. talk.
man, i think i deserve to be flogged just for that.
p.s. hey, another cool lesson from that story in the bible is that "the work of men will fail." even the pharisee's knew that, even if it took a really wise one to point it out. i just know that people who are putting their faith in things like "the secret" and "7 steps to become a better you" and stuff like that are going to realize they will end up just where they started. empty.
...allow me to explain:
according to the world's standards of acceptable behavior, peter and the apostles were ridiculous people. and that's because they learned from the Master.
towards the end of acts 5, peter and the gang were escaping prison just to go out and do the exact thing that got them imprisoned in the first place, which was teaching that Jesus was and is the Messiah.
if i ever go to prison, and then i escape from said prison, i probably won't be sticking around. but that's what they did. and then this dude named gamaliel, who was a respected pharisee, came up and said "listen, if these guys are doing the work of men, they'll fail. if they're doing the work of God, you probably don't want to be on the wrong side of that battle." now that guy was pretty smart. so then the men of israel said "ok, we'll let them go, but let's rough them up a little first."
i bring this up because i'm always wondering about how much persecution i'm facing for serving the Lord. not much, i would say. and here's the crazy thing:
after peter and the gang were flogged, they went out rejoicing and celebrating that they were punished for doing righteous work. and this wasn't some one time thing either, they did this crap all the time. todos los dias.
thanks for making me look bad, apostles.
i'm constantly asking God to deliver me before developing me. and that's backwards. i keep asking to be sent to south america to do missions, or to be given the opportunity to go to seminary and become a leader of a church or some sorta super-christian that goes around and slaps people's foolish ways with biblical wisdom. (in christian book stores you might find a comic called "bible man." i'm not kidding. it looks terrible.)
but i'm not even living like a missionary in my own home and workplace. i don't even know if the people i have personal relationships view me as a leader. i'm not trying to be hard on myself, because i really do strive to glorify God wherever i am and i think that some people do see something of a God-warrior in me.
but i am not ridiculous enough to be like peter and the gang, and i think that's what i'll be praying for in the mean time. but at the same time, i'm kind of happy to see such cool stuff coming from the people God used to write the new testament.
for lack of a better term, they were Jesus-freaks. and i feel really lame for using the term "Jesus-freak" like i'm some member of d.c. talk.
man, i think i deserve to be flogged just for that.
p.s. hey, another cool lesson from that story in the bible is that "the work of men will fail." even the pharisee's knew that, even if it took a really wise one to point it out. i just know that people who are putting their faith in things like "the secret" and "7 steps to become a better you" and stuff like that are going to realize they will end up just where they started. empty.
11/6/09
it's 5 o'clock somewhere
sometimes scripture is funny.
i don't think that many people are ok with accepting this. for me it's been this way ever since i started reading the bible.
one time Jesus was out chillin in the water, standing on top of the surface. he called out to peter, and so peter was like "cool," but then the wind started blowing and peter began to sink. to me, that's funny. Jesus knew what He was doing. He knew peter was gonna go down.
when i imagine that scene in my head, i crack up. i'm sure peter's face was absolutely priceless.
another time, after Jesus was crucified (not funny), then rose from his tomb, then hung out a bit (kinda funny if you again imagine their faces), and ascended to heaven, there was a pretty funny situation:
everybody was hanging out, they just replaced judas (who got a raw deal in the whole story, but he still had free will, so whatever...), and the Holy Spirit filled the apostles and they began to speak in tongues. bystanders, for the most part, were pretty amazed, if not creeped out (funny).
some accused them of being drunk. "they have gotten into new wine," they said (funny). i don't know about you, but when i get a little tipsy, i start speaking unfamiliar languages all the time.
anyways, our old friend peter stood up and said "hey, we're not drunk, it's nine in the morning!"
that is really in the bible.
now if this isn't funny to you, perhaps i built it up a little too much. but think about it. not a whole lot of people get accused of being drunk at nine in the morning. either people were hardcore haters, or the apostles had a reputation for getting the party started early.
...i guess there really isn't a point to all this. i just think it was funny that peter actually had to tell a mass group of people that it was too early for them to be drunk. i wonder if pentecostals ever have to defend themselves from similar accusations.
besides, i like to think that the apostles had better taste. none of that "new wine" crap.
i don't think that many people are ok with accepting this. for me it's been this way ever since i started reading the bible.
one time Jesus was out chillin in the water, standing on top of the surface. he called out to peter, and so peter was like "cool," but then the wind started blowing and peter began to sink. to me, that's funny. Jesus knew what He was doing. He knew peter was gonna go down.
when i imagine that scene in my head, i crack up. i'm sure peter's face was absolutely priceless.
another time, after Jesus was crucified (not funny), then rose from his tomb, then hung out a bit (kinda funny if you again imagine their faces), and ascended to heaven, there was a pretty funny situation:
everybody was hanging out, they just replaced judas (who got a raw deal in the whole story, but he still had free will, so whatever...), and the Holy Spirit filled the apostles and they began to speak in tongues. bystanders, for the most part, were pretty amazed, if not creeped out (funny).
some accused them of being drunk. "they have gotten into new wine," they said (funny). i don't know about you, but when i get a little tipsy, i start speaking unfamiliar languages all the time.
anyways, our old friend peter stood up and said "hey, we're not drunk, it's nine in the morning!"
that is really in the bible.
now if this isn't funny to you, perhaps i built it up a little too much. but think about it. not a whole lot of people get accused of being drunk at nine in the morning. either people were hardcore haters, or the apostles had a reputation for getting the party started early.
...i guess there really isn't a point to all this. i just think it was funny that peter actually had to tell a mass group of people that it was too early for them to be drunk. i wonder if pentecostals ever have to defend themselves from similar accusations.
besides, i like to think that the apostles had better taste. none of that "new wine" crap.
11/1/09
my future (obviously) obituary
Pastor, professor, musician, humorist, bon vivant, and failed painter Chandler Smith died a while back at the unexpected age of 83. He is survived by his wife who may finally get some sleep, two sons, two daughters, a dog, and a whole bunch of grandchildren, whose inheritance includes a collection of electric guitars ready to be pawned.
Dr. Smith was probably best known on the international level for his song writing, which can be described as "different." After abandoning the music scene to, in his own words, "grow up," Dr. Smith finally finished his Master's in Divinity and began preaching and traveling the world as a missionary. Dr. Smith was often heard saying "i've got nothing better to do with all this money." This was of course a joke, as he often accepted his payments in beer and/or fine tobacco instead of money, much to his family's dismay.
At the age of 42, Dr. Smith began teaching in seminary, while also earning his Doctor of Ministry from a really fancy university. Dr. Smith's teaching style was often described as "different." It was around this time when Dr. Smith wrote his only book. When asked by Rolling Stone magazine why he didn't continue writing, despite having had some success with his book, Dr. Smith said "(writing books) is a real chore." He also has created about 20 different blogs throughout his lifetime, all of which are obscure and mostly forgotten. Dr. Smith's writing style was often described as "kinda funny, sometimes."
Dr. Smith retired at the age of 70 to pursue his passion for painting, much to his family's dismay. His paintings can be described as "different," and "not very good."
Sensing his time was near, Dr. Smith added a request to the coroner to refrain from shaving his beard in his will just days before his death. This was, of course, much to his family's dismay.
It was determined that Dr. Smith's death was caused by extreme exhaustion after chasing his undisciplined dog "all damn day," fulfilling his suspicion that the dog was "gonna be the end of (him)."
His funeral was either yesterday or perhaps earlier this morning.
Dr. Smith was probably best known on the international level for his song writing, which can be described as "different." After abandoning the music scene to, in his own words, "grow up," Dr. Smith finally finished his Master's in Divinity and began preaching and traveling the world as a missionary. Dr. Smith was often heard saying "i've got nothing better to do with all this money." This was of course a joke, as he often accepted his payments in beer and/or fine tobacco instead of money, much to his family's dismay.
At the age of 42, Dr. Smith began teaching in seminary, while also earning his Doctor of Ministry from a really fancy university. Dr. Smith's teaching style was often described as "different." It was around this time when Dr. Smith wrote his only book. When asked by Rolling Stone magazine why he didn't continue writing, despite having had some success with his book, Dr. Smith said "(writing books) is a real chore." He also has created about 20 different blogs throughout his lifetime, all of which are obscure and mostly forgotten. Dr. Smith's writing style was often described as "kinda funny, sometimes."
Dr. Smith retired at the age of 70 to pursue his passion for painting, much to his family's dismay. His paintings can be described as "different," and "not very good."
Sensing his time was near, Dr. Smith added a request to the coroner to refrain from shaving his beard in his will just days before his death. This was, of course, much to his family's dismay.
It was determined that Dr. Smith's death was caused by extreme exhaustion after chasing his undisciplined dog "all damn day," fulfilling his suspicion that the dog was "gonna be the end of (him)."
His funeral was either yesterday or perhaps earlier this morning.
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